How Conflict Creates Regret
Conflict, though most often seen as bad, can be the catalyst for releasing great potential. Great ideas, products, and relationships are often forged through conflict.
Conflict is rarely, if ever, resolved nor is it practical or helpful to do so. To resolve conflict would mean we would all be in complete agreement about everything and the creative, healthy friction would be removed from human interaction. Therefore, the term “conflict resolution” borders on the absurd.
Instead, conflict is to be managed. Assertive, purposeful conflict management helps a person be more, see more, achieve more, and live without regret.
Conflict becomes unhealthy, destructive, and a seedbed for regret when it is:
- Focused on a person rather than the issue. Sometimes the original issue is forgotten altogether and the fight itself becomes the issue (Think Hatfields and McCoys)
- Emotional and irrational (principals act on feeling and not thoughtful plans)
- A personal attack
- Damaging to relationships
- A win/lose contest
- The source of factions
To avoid destructive conflict, breathe deeply, keep your emotions under control, keep the focus on the issue or problem to solve, ask questions which prompt productive thought in you and others, and work toward a win/win outcome. This can be a powerful contributor to life without regret.
See more on conflict and regret in this blog during the coming weeks and in my book Without Regret.